Revolutionary New Space-Aged Technology – Waterless?

I’m sorry, if I am, now, taking you on a journey into the inner zone of the bathroom urinal. It can be a fascinating place, you know. There are the gel wafers, the ones which the character Oh tasted in the cartoon movie “Home.” There are some interesting doilies which act as strainers… and should not be mistaken for a yarmulke. There are moments in crowded bathrooms at Michael W. Smith concerts that I will not relive with you. You’re welcome.

This is the “new” technology incorporated into places such as Wild Adventures Theme Park bathrooms. This advancement is known as “Falcon Waterfree Technology.”

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I’m sorry. What Huckleberry Finn convinced Herschend Family Entertainment (really nice folks, by the way) to pay for a special urinal that requires no flushing. If this is the future, my grandpa in Tennessee was way before his time. I’m sorry Papa-Leek. You never got to see the futuristic appeal of your outhouse.

Here’s basically the deal. If you are investing in toilets that can’t flush, you better invest in a LOT of febreeze, fly traps, and people to scrub (maybe with water).

I want to save water and such, but I am not being fooled with going back to porta-potty functionality and calling it “new.” Sorry, Huck. Paint your own fence, I’m going to go invest the next wave of potty advances – I will call it the Osprey Aqua-Potty.

Anyone have this Falcon technology in your home? Would you like me to store your old potty for you so you can re-install it when you get tired of the bad nursing home smell?

P.S. Before you dismiss my rant, consider this. I risked dropping my phone into a waterlfree grave.

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